24 February, 2015: Desires
As promised, I will write more tonight than I did last night. I'm a bit annoyed with myself, because I feel like I haven't been living up to the expectations I put on myself last week. Days are busy, and I just go through them, not thinking about Christ like I should be. I just read some Chambers, and he said we must learn to become sacramental to Christ, just as Paul did. We can't be seeking life out from our own selfish desires, but rather, from Jesus' desires. I would like to live and make choices out of what Christ wants, not what I want. This is a challenge. Nearly every moment of my life, I make things about myself: What do I want to do? What do I "need" to do? What are my goals? The focus is so narrowly aimed at my selfish personality. I'm lazy, lack self-control, and don't consider others before myself. These things need to change, by golly!
Having revisited St. Augustine this past week, I'm reminded of how much I aspire to be like him. He really did love God. I don't even know where to begin.... this mess surrounds me, and I feel trapped and sunken in and ignorant of what true honor is. Maybe things will get better, but I'm going to have to try harder.... just not with Benjamin Franklin's mindset!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amelia
P.S. In a moment of desperation and desire for oatmeal, I was tempted to re-activate my Facebook today; alas, I "resisted the feed" ;) ;) ;)
No comments:
Post a Comment