Lent: Day 3

Day 3: Do You Love?

It's Friday and I'm sitting desk at Mac. I just finished reading four different works of St. Augustine, one of my favorite dead guys. Some of it went over my head, and some of it did not. I also just read Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest, and really appreciated what he wrote for February 20th. He wrote, "Dreaming about a thing in order to do it properly is right; but dreaming about it when we should be doing it is wrong". Last night, I was thinking about love and whether or not it is rational. I thought about the phrase "to love unconditionally", and pondered what that meant. This morning in the library, I had the privilege to discuss these thoughts with a dear friend of mine. God is Love, and therefore is the perfect and only example to look at when examining love. If He loves us, sinful and pathetic humans who spit in His face, then surely love is somewhat irrational by nature, right? We humans do not tend toward things that are unpleasant and hurt us. We are not inclined to feelings of love. This is why love is not only a feeling, but a transitive verb (yes, I'm in an English grammar class right now). I think a good marriage has both of these elements: husband and wife both have a deep feeling of love for each other; perhaps this aspect of love is what lead them to marriage. Yet, this is pretty unsustainable. A good marriage will also have two people who, daily, make the choice to love each other, regardless of their feelings or emotions or natural tendencies are that day. This is commitment, and this is difficult. "I love you even though you said something rude to me and don't look as pretty as you once did. I love you because you are you, and I have committed myself to loving you." My friend suggested that humans, by nature, cannot actually love "unconditionally"; only God can do that. She said that the condition is that we remain ourselves, and the object of our love does as well. This is kind of confusing, and I don't fully understand it (and I might have worded it wrong), but maybe I will get it one day. 

I guess the point is, I want to love like God loves. I don't want to just dream about love like Chambers emphasizes we avoid. I want to constantly be in a state of loving the people that surround me. 

It has occurred to me that I gossip more than I should. I want to rid myself of that. I want Christ to help me, because only He can. I want to get rid the wretchedness that consumes my heart and mind. I want to be purified. 

Amelia